The value of biding one's time.

It was a beautiful morning to run, and I felt great walking out the door, despite walking right through a spiders web, full of bugs and all!  Ew.  I brushed the big pieces off of me, and cut in front of two women jogging as they headed toward my driveway.
I felt good for the first mile. Then, things started going south. My calf was just fine, but I was so winded - and I was really starting to feel disappointed. That feeling brought a cascade of emotions I was so not ready for. I wanted to stop about a quarter mile after. I felt so defeated, and hopeless. Would I ever feel that smoothness and strength and the confidence that I could endure the miles ahead of me- ever again? It was so hard to stay positive. I looked at my watch - why was I headed toward 180 bpm so quickly? it was 62 degrees - moderate humidity - I think it was about 70%, but it certainly felt drier.
I wanted to do 5 miles. But I realized I needed to switch my goals up, and fast - before I talked myself into walking home. 
I decided I would try to keep my HR under 160. This way, I could continue to run, train aerobically and keep it easy. It wasn't that simple. As I ended up making my way back home, I changed my goal to keep my HR under 170.
Even that was futile. 
But, changing goals kept me running, and as I got closer to my house, I decided to run the length of my street again, just as a defiant gesture to my negative-thinking self.

Then, I came across this when I got home: How to run faster.

During the day today, I found myself visualizing feeling really good my next run. I remember doing this on occasion when I first started running. I remember thinking I would never run a 5k in under 30 minutes.

Patience.

Runmeter Data
Magellan took a dump again today, so no HR data. Thinking I should get a HR monitor and cadence chip for iPhone and Runmeter and sell the magellan.

A new route in the humidity..

It was much more humid this morning, and for some reason, I couldn't keep my heart rate under 170, so I took frequent walk and picture breaks. I love running here..the houses are beautiful, there is plenty of wildlife, reasonable hills and very few cars.

 I think it was the humidity that made the run feel harder than it should have - or, maybe back to back runs.  I didn't stretch my back out before, so I was feeling it in my right adductor and quad.

Geese, rabbits, chipmunks, egrets, oh my!

Bridge house

The tide is going out!

My next scheduled run is Tuesday morning.

Runmeter Data

Magellan Data

Let's get busy.

Armed with the understanding of the changes going on inside of me, plus the cooler temps and lower humidity;  I tied up my fears of a potential 'crash and burn' with a glass ribbon and tucked them somewhere out of sight. (no pun intended)

At first I thought I'd park my car at the track and run down through Glen Cove around Dosoris Pond, but decided to stay on a level, softer surface for my first run back after 2 weeks. Half the track was shaded, and the run was uneventful. I stretched afterward. I wasn't displeased with my performance. I'm not even going to say I wish I had run faster, or longer. I'm just glad I'm running. 

Runmeter Data
Magellan Data

What an interesting few weeks it's been...

What a shitty few months it's been. Starting with that calf strain/tear back in April, then the tightness, then weakness, then numbness, tingling. Sounded like a nerve root compression to me. But I've had other weird neurologic symptoms not limited to my lower extremities over the last few years, including the tinnitus I developed at the end of 2012.  I decided I finally needed to see a neurologist. We ruled out some autoimmune things, myelopathy, and Lyme. We had to do an extra test for Lyme, because the first one came back positive. Knowing that there were a lot of false positives, I dropped some more blood, and the more specific test came back negative. I had an EMG done which only detected decrease muscle activity that is supplied by the L5S1 nerve root, although the MRI did not show anything at that level. The doctor feels it could be some stenosis or perhaps a bone spur. This is actually what I was hoping to hear. It certainly is better than the possible alternatives. 

So, during the last few weeks while all this was going on, my vision started to change in my left eye. Thirty years ago I had a detached retina, and that was promptly repaired with a scleral buckle and some laser treatment. It seems that now, as a common side effect of this past surgery, I've developed what is known as a macular pucker. The vision in my left eye has developed less acuity. When looking at an Amsler grid below, I have a combination of areas on the grid that resemble the blurring and curvy line effect. Because the brain is adept at using the better visioned eye when seeing, there is really only a visual disturbance when looking out of the left eye only.  When my vision gets worse so that the brain can't compensate with the right eye enough,  they will consider going into my eye again to remove the scar tissue that has formed over the retina. The doctor says this can happen in less than 5 years, or not at all.

Here are the pictures of my eye. The right eye, (the left pic) is normal.
The other picture shows the puckering and fluid behind the retina, which unfortunately happens to be in the center of my vision. Ugh. The thin white line on top is the scar tissue.

The bottom line: Can I exercise? Yes. I'll have to return once a year to the specialist, and once a year to my regular eye guy. The sensory problems in my leg have abated about 50% - I continue to stretch and watch my posture. I'm going to try to get out for a walk/run tomorrow. The last run I did, I had some increased visual disturbance. Even though the doctor says I can run, I'm going to be careful and not overdo it.

Now, hopefully, back to blogging about running.